Yesterday, i picked the Captain up from school. He came to the car visibly upset. He had a Flea Market day at school which his grade sponsored. I had made really great stuff for him to sell at the Flea Market and he was super excited to go to school that day and sell it all. I was expecting to see him super excited. He wasn't.
I asked him how the Flea Market went and he simply responded that it was "OK". It wasn't the Flea Market that was bothering him. I told him that he needed to tell me what it was that upset him so much. He told me that the class bully had been bothering him again. The Captain had received 100% on his space science test. It was once an area of obsession for him, so it was no surprise to me that he received 100% on that test. He told me that the bully saw his test grade and called him a cheater. The kids went on to say that the Captain was a worthless loser who could never pass a test nevertheless receive 100% on one. The Captain was devastated at the accusation and attack. The kid then went up to The Captain and stomped on his foot. Captain went and reported the foot stomping to the teacher and he child muttered an apology to my son. Then once the teachers attention was diverted, he did the same thing again. I saw my child's foot after school and it was discolored. I was furious.
I have reported this kid several times throughout the year. Little was done by the school to curb this child's behavior. The principal sat him down once and told him that he needed to leave the Captain alone. Which he did for a month, and then it all went back downhill. I looked at my child with tears in his eyes and told him that he wouldn't have to deal with that kid again. He needs to get through the next few weeks and then I was going to pull him out of that school and homeschool him. He would be able to feel good about himself and would be able to interact with children that would treat him with kindness. The Captain was happy and relieved at the prospect. Everyday it becomes more and more apparent that this is my only option for my kid. Sometimes when God wants you to do something and you are on the fence, he makes his desires more apparent each day. I am taking this as a sign from God and I am gonna give it a try.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Decisions Decisions
Over the past few weeks, my family was thrown a few curveballs that I have had to deal with. They are personal, so I won't share them, but I think its quite funny how a few things can come into your life at a moments notice and destroy things that you have worked months on building.
Over the past few months, I had been working on becoming as educated in the areas of autism as I could possibly be. I have checked out videos, books, and was trying all sorts of new techiniques to help my kids. I have no other choice. The schools are giving my kids what they need and the insurance company is not covering any of the services my kid needs either. So I must become an expert on what they need and teach it to them myself. I am surprised that there are not more books and programs out there that are focused on training parents to provide the assistance they need for their children. All the books give you references to programs you can send your kids to or the type pf therapy they need, but i can't find any that say.. this is what ABA therapy is and how to do it. Professionals must have learned this stuff from somewhere..right? I need to search textbooks I guess to find what it is I need.
Needless to say, my own personal stuff had stalled out all the progress I had been makin gin this area and I am now forced to try to get back on track. Why is it so hard to do this? We as humans are so reluctant to re-start projects or goals that we had previously started and made good headway on. We remember all the hard work we put into it, all the wonderful results we had because of all the hard work, and instead of having that motivate us , we think.. that sounds so exhausting. I'll just sit here a while longer and think about it. Sometimes, I wish I was more like Data from Star Trek. I can just switch a chip off in my brain and proceed with my mission without letting other thoughts distract me.
Captian Obvious came home the other day all excited. I had purchased him silly bands because they are all the rage and he had worked really hard at saving money to buy some. It wasn't enough money to buy the ones he wanted, so I chipped in to reward his attempts at financial responsibilty. At school, he had traded a few silly bands with some other kids and he was so excited about it. Being a ASD kid, all he wanted to talk about were silly bands and why he liked them. I listened for a half an hour about the greatness of silly bands. Then out of the blue, he tells me in a quite different tone, "Mommy, you wanna know the other reason I like silly bands so much?" Uh -oh I thought. I am in for another half hour of silly band greatness talk. "Why?" I asked. "Because if you have silly bands, then kids at school will talk to you because they want to know what silly bands you have to see if they can trade. Today, kids actually talked to me Mom." My heart broke a little inside. My kid has to wear these silly bands in order to get kids to talk to him. Then, I got angry. The kids are only talking to him because they want something from him and they are going to walk all over him and take advantage of his desperate desire to have friends in order to get what they want. After they do that, they will no longer talk to him anymore. Then I will have to buy more silly bands or whatever the new craze is to give him the opportunity to be used again. I think that was my breaking point. I had been talking to a lot of homeschooling families and hearing about the reasons why they chose to homeschool. A lot of parents had told me that they wanted to have control over the kids of relationships their kids engaged in so that they can ensure that their children have meaningful friendships and relationships in their lives and not end up in situations where there is peer pressure and manipulation at the core of the relationship. I feel the same way. I want the Captain to be around people that are gonna love the Captain for being him.If that means I have to homeschool him and drive around town all week to ensure that he maintains quality relationships with other kids, then thats what I am going to do.
I have some more looking into, but I am 90% sure I am gonna try virtual school next year.
Over the past few months, I had been working on becoming as educated in the areas of autism as I could possibly be. I have checked out videos, books, and was trying all sorts of new techiniques to help my kids. I have no other choice. The schools are giving my kids what they need and the insurance company is not covering any of the services my kid needs either. So I must become an expert on what they need and teach it to them myself. I am surprised that there are not more books and programs out there that are focused on training parents to provide the assistance they need for their children. All the books give you references to programs you can send your kids to or the type pf therapy they need, but i can't find any that say.. this is what ABA therapy is and how to do it. Professionals must have learned this stuff from somewhere..right? I need to search textbooks I guess to find what it is I need.
Needless to say, my own personal stuff had stalled out all the progress I had been makin gin this area and I am now forced to try to get back on track. Why is it so hard to do this? We as humans are so reluctant to re-start projects or goals that we had previously started and made good headway on. We remember all the hard work we put into it, all the wonderful results we had because of all the hard work, and instead of having that motivate us , we think.. that sounds so exhausting. I'll just sit here a while longer and think about it. Sometimes, I wish I was more like Data from Star Trek. I can just switch a chip off in my brain and proceed with my mission without letting other thoughts distract me.
Captian Obvious came home the other day all excited. I had purchased him silly bands because they are all the rage and he had worked really hard at saving money to buy some. It wasn't enough money to buy the ones he wanted, so I chipped in to reward his attempts at financial responsibilty. At school, he had traded a few silly bands with some other kids and he was so excited about it. Being a ASD kid, all he wanted to talk about were silly bands and why he liked them. I listened for a half an hour about the greatness of silly bands. Then out of the blue, he tells me in a quite different tone, "Mommy, you wanna know the other reason I like silly bands so much?" Uh -oh I thought. I am in for another half hour of silly band greatness talk. "Why?" I asked. "Because if you have silly bands, then kids at school will talk to you because they want to know what silly bands you have to see if they can trade. Today, kids actually talked to me Mom." My heart broke a little inside. My kid has to wear these silly bands in order to get kids to talk to him. Then, I got angry. The kids are only talking to him because they want something from him and they are going to walk all over him and take advantage of his desperate desire to have friends in order to get what they want. After they do that, they will no longer talk to him anymore. Then I will have to buy more silly bands or whatever the new craze is to give him the opportunity to be used again. I think that was my breaking point. I had been talking to a lot of homeschooling families and hearing about the reasons why they chose to homeschool. A lot of parents had told me that they wanted to have control over the kids of relationships their kids engaged in so that they can ensure that their children have meaningful friendships and relationships in their lives and not end up in situations where there is peer pressure and manipulation at the core of the relationship. I feel the same way. I want the Captain to be around people that are gonna love the Captain for being him.If that means I have to homeschool him and drive around town all week to ensure that he maintains quality relationships with other kids, then thats what I am going to do.
I have some more looking into, but I am 90% sure I am gonna try virtual school next year.
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