I have nicknames for my children. They are made out of love, so please don't judge. I like to call one of my sons "Captain Obvious" because without fail he will always seek to repeat and share any information that is already received by other people. I know that it's not his fault, but its something cute that me and my husband day to each other in order to keep things light. I have a son we call "Lurky McLurkelson" due to his uncanny ability to hide in shadows. You can be in a room for a long period of time, glance quickly at a corner, and there he is..like the twins in The Shining.. scaring the bejesus out of you. Finally, there is "Meepy" who doesn't yet talk, but makes all sorts of odd noises and sounds. He's at the point where he repeats what people say, but does not use words independently.
Captian Obvious has been having serious problems at school due to his learning disabilities and Asperger's. Because he struggles in school so much, he is often bullied and teased for not knowing information or saying things that are just plain weird. I have seen this first hand. When I pick up my boys after school, a few boys will see him and say, "Look it's (Captain Obvious) Everyone run away!" And all the kids of course run away and my son is left feeling defeated. The fact that Lurky McLurkelson is gifted doesn't help matters either. Lurky has plenty of friends and is able to do all his school work very easily. He has no idea why Captain Obvious has so many problems. Captain has said to me many times that he wants to be homeschooled. He is tired of all the kids making him feel dumb. When your child says something like that to you, it breaks your heart. It also makes you want to do whatever you can to help. His doctors tell me that homeschooling or a private school is what is going to be best for him in the long term. The school system tells me that he needs to be in a regular school setting and learn how to survive people like this or else he will never be successful in life. Who do you believe?
My major concern is socialization. I keep hearing about all the homeschool groups out there for socializing. But are they going to be the right fit for my son? Are there kids his age in those groups? If so, how many? Are these kids going to make fun him too? Plus to find information about a homeschool group is ridiculous. I just want to call someone who is in charge, meet up with the group and check it out before I make any decisions. Most of the groups in my area charge a fee just to be able to access contact information. Really? I don't feel I should pay unless I am committing to a group and I don't know what group I am going to commit to unless I check them all out.
Why does homeschooling cost so much money??? I checked out a few virtual school options available to me. In order to be able to but him in the most ideal program environment for him, it would cost me $5,000 a year. I know that to some, it doesn't sound like much.. but to me.. its plenty! I can't afford it! It's truly frustrating.
Apparently in order to successfully raise special needs children you need a crap load of money. Unfortunately for us, most special needs kids come from poor families. Don't you love the way life works sometimes
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Becky, do you have an advocate? My sister teaches autistic children in Ft. Lauderdale. She often is set up with advocates from the parents who fight for what the kid needs at school. I believe this is a free service.
ReplyDeleteThe parent advocates I have been in contact with all charge fees for interacting with a school. I have an advocate that I speak with on an occasional basis. I do not utilize her because she says that I know my stuff and there would be little she could add to what I already do on a regular basis. She is met with the same problems that I am. Its kinda comforting to know that. Messed up, but comforting. I find that it comes down to money and the programs that are available at the school. The school needs the money they get for ESE kids desperately. However, they are not often equipped to with the tools and programs to help these kids. Because they need to the money so bad, they are not going to tell you that you should transfer your kid somewhere else or try another option. Instead, they just tell you that it can't be done. That isn't exactly a lie, because it can't be done AT THAT SCHOOL. So they hide behind that. It's not their fault. These schools have so little money nowadays to do anything truly beneficial for our kids. However, that doesn't mean that I will just sit there and take it.
ReplyDeleteI just have to say that I love your kids' nicknames. :)
ReplyDeletethe nicknames are great-loving and endearing definitely :)
ReplyDeletei believe in my experience that it is super important to allow them to stay in the public school setting-or any public setting at that.
does he know about autism himself or is he too young for that? there are a lot of schools that have special activities, etc... that teach "typical" children about Autism/Aspergers and that these children are just like them.
i mean when you sit back and think what is typical, your head will spin-that's how i felt when i bring kiddos in the inclusion setting-you are telling me to correct the child i am assisting, however, you have no hold on the "typical" peers.
it is a difficult road to travel and unfortunately ignorance is still in effect.
are there any social skills programs or additional activities where the kids can attend? i know in ny we have quite a few that are awesome-if you let me know your area i can search it out with my resources if you'd like :)
also, check out your local resources for Asperger's-there is much assistance out there that are funded and that you are entitled to.
xo
sarabeth